Tuesday 24 February 2009

Teenagers in France !

Happy Birthday Moving to France with 3 teenagers and a dog in tow was not a decision made lightly.

Mind you we were several steps ahead of many families making the hop across the channel as our 3 kids have been in the French school system since the age of 3 and they already speak French.

For our kids the biggest adjustment we felt they were going to have to adapt to, was living a more 'normal/different' life than what they were used to.

Having lived in Asia and Africa all their lives they were used to warm climates, outdoor living, a lot more freedom in their social lives and dare I say it but a housekeeper who cooked, cleaned and ironed (I miss that too!).

Parties, sleepovers galore, cheap shopping, beach holidays and eating out were all 'normal' life then. The latest fashions were not a big issue, TV was not really thought about, getting out and about in taxis was cheap as chips and kids were out and about doing things in groups on a regular basis whether it was sport or just meeting at someone's house.

And here we were, about to drag them from the bright lights of city living to the country glow of small town France.

Teenagers! Our kids are 13 and 17 (boys) and 15 (girl) so as you can imagine our house at times is high on hormones and hysteria (theirs and mine). But on the whole they are balanced, healthy and cooperative teenagers - did I really just say that?

We purposely chose not to live in rural France, no matter how tempting the estate agents blurb of a "Fully renovated rural French farmhouse with 2 acres of land with a stream and no neighbours" for half our budget was. Teenagers and 'The Good Life' don't always mix. We also chose to ignore the city apartment (us parents needed a veggie patch) and the cute village house looking onto the square (although I am not sure why).

Instead we went for the small town of Limoux in the Aude.

On top of the world!Limoux is a town of 10,000 inhabitants, has a Lycee and college, train station, cinema, restaurants and biggish shops and is only 25kms from the bright city lights of Carcassonne. And it's under 2 hours from the ski resorts and the sea. A perfect compromise.

So how well are they integrating then?

Having being used to socialising with kids of all nationalities and backgrounds, languages and experiences, they have suddenly found themselves 'the odd ones out'. Some treat them as novelties, others ignore them because they are novelties and others have been genuinely kind and interested.

In a way it has been harder for their peers to accept them than the other way round. Our hats are off to our brave bunch of three though as they have each found themselves a great circle of friends - even if we haven't met most of them as they live in a small hamlet in the middle of nowhere.

As for things for the kids to do, we have been pleasantly surprised at how much organised activity there is.

The French love their clubs or associations as they like to call them. The boys have launched themselves into tennis, Aikido and guitar and Ellie does theater and dance. There are clubs galore ranging from canoeing and belly dancing to singing and knitting (I know what the boys would say). Then there are the outings organised by the schools such as ski trips, theatres and spectacles.

The weekends are more of a challenge though as we have found that French teenagers here don't really 'hang out' and much more is done 'en famille' (as a family).

Sleepovers are pretty rare if at all, birthday parties are unusual and meeting up at the weekend for a film and a pizza are just too expensive for many. Also many of their friends live in other towns and villages and with the lack of a local bus system it makes getting from hamlet to hamlet a challenge unless they can persuade their mum or dad with breakfast in bed (hint) to drive them.

One thing we love though is the respect that teenagers show towards each other. Imagine arriving at school in the UK and kissing all your friends hello or shaking hands? Well here it is normal.

We are also relieved to see that fashion 'must haves' are not really a big thing here and that kids love eating school dinners. Interestingly many English kids don't like the school dinners....Jamie Oliver what have you taught them?

Smoking however is a big issue. Getting through the front door of the Lycee at 8am involves a mad dash through a black haze of fumes - and that's just from the students.

Were we concerned about the move to Limoux? YES.

And 6 months on has it gone OK? Surprisingly YES.

We as parents are getting used to having the kids around the house a lot more, having to see (and try and ignore) bedrooms that resemble a boot sale in mayhem, working as a chauffeur and not getting paid (not even with breakfast in bed) and forking out for all those clubs to join.

As for the kids - well they seem to be doing just fine. They have their mobile phones, their computers and hotmail (to keep in touch with old friends), a nice group of new friends plus the odd club to go to, so what more do they want.

Out and about in Carcassonne
As I write this the wind is howling round the door, the blue skies peep every now and then from behind the grey wall of clouds and when Spring comes, I am sure that I will have other things to add to what our 3 teens are up to.....and I hope one of them is breakfast in bed.

Next Time: How we are coping with the health care system.....I snapped a knee ligament whilst skiing.

8 comments:

softinthehead said...

It's good to hear that your children are adapting well, that makes it a lot easier on everyone.
Also nice to hear they are enjoying the simpler things of life, friendship etc rather than material things :) Well done. Also ouch on the knee thing, been there - done not quiet that but close.

Nicole said...

Thanks Softinthehead and glad you are feeling better - I just read your blog and saw that you have been invaded by the lurgy. I am pleased that our kids aren't too materialistic although they can't live without computers and mobile phones....me neither I suppose :-)

martienne said...

Hi

Really enjoyed reading your blog . Is it possible to inform me of which drama group your daughter attends in limoux .

Thanks

Martienne

martiennethompson94@hotmail.com

shaun said...

Hi nicole, sounds like you're as organised as ever, well done. What Hanoi habits have stayed with you, the odd bowl of bowl of noodle soup perhaps? How's Bill and the big wide world of consulting?

Love to all, Shaun, Alison, Lola, Maiya and Freya

Nicole said...

Hi Shaun - Great to hear from you after all these years. Life is great here if not very chaotic at times and then there are all those decisions to be made and you know how good (not) Bill and I are at making decisions....!! If ever you and the family are in France, don't forget to stop by for a nem or a bowl of pho.

Martin said...

Yes- settling into school is a challenge, as is settling into France generally.

As a recent new immigrant myself, I chose to write a report to help people deal with the French Integration Contract, a document all new immigrants need to sign.

I need to also look at developing a report on schiools, as there is much blog comment on the topic.

However, for more information, see www.medallionmarketingteam.com/franceintegration.html and see if there is any information there to help you along your journey in your new life in France.

Martin said...

Yes- settling into school is a challenge, as is settling into France generally.

As a recent new immigrant myself, I chose to write a report to help people deal with the French Integration Contract, a document all new immigrants need to sign.

I need to also look at developing a report on schiools, as there is much blog comment on the topic.

However, for more information, see http://www.medallionmarketingteam.com/franceintegration.html and see if there is any information there to help you along your journey in your new life in France.

Low cost No cost ECD Materials said...

Now I know why I always felt that I had a "different" way to raise our kids compared to other expat families overseas... not so "different": just French! I am glad that you are all settling so well in France. You certainly have prepared for the move since a long time and are now harvesting all the dedication to keeping the kids in AYL in Hanoi! Well, done! Enjoy your first spring in Limoux, the news leaves, the soft early sun rays, the doors and windows opens from mid morning on. Are you there yet?
This is where we are: Nairobi is lovely at the moment and after a full year here, I miss Asia less accutely. Good! Bizoux to you all,

Claire